Just can’t let it go.

I don't know why I just can't let it go
I don't know why I just can't let it go
Memory's old but I just can't let it go
The idea's gone but I just can't let it go

The beauty of music, like many other art forms, is that you can choose to interpret it however you want. The lyrics that precede this paragraph are from a song called "In The Light," one of my favorite tracks off The Lumineers most recent album, Cleopatra. I have no idea what ‪Wesley Schultz‬ is singing about when the above words come out of his mouth but these four lines have been on repeat in my own head of late and they’ve taken on a meaning of their own. 

While I’ve put most of my energy in recent years into coaching and helping athletes achieve their goals, I recently admitted to myself that I still have some unfinished competitive business of my own, specifically in the marathon. I’ve put up a couple solid results since mid-2014, including a 2:32:22 at Boston in 2015, but I’m now ten years removed from the 2:28:25 I ran in my debut at Vermont, and despite numerous efforts to convince myself otherwise, I just can’t let the idea of a running faster one go.

Inspired by the fighting spirits of so many people throughout the past year—my wife Christine, all of my own athletes, friends and colleagues like Knox Robinson, Peter Bromka, Patrick Reaves, Brad Stulberg, and Ed Caesar, pros like Des Linden, Elias Kipchoge, Gabriele Grunewald, and Shalane Flanagan, and countless others to name here—I’ve decided to go all-in on Boston and CIM in 2018. What does that mean exactly? Eliminating excuses, competing with a sense of renewed purpose, making my own training and racing a priority for the first time in a long time (while ensuring that those things occupy a healthy place in my life), taking a more holistic approach to athleticism, and enlisting the help of others to guide me along the way (more on that soon). I’m excited to see where I can take this and what lessons I can learn, or maybe re-learn, in the process.

Follow my training here on Strava, along with some other semi-regular updates. Questions and comments are always welcome. In the meantime, I’ll be holding on to an idea that I'm not quite convinced is actually gone.