"National Organization of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood"
NO MA’AM’s Nine Commandments
Our history as a organization is deeply rooted in the culture and teachings of Al Bundy. He is our Guru and Sage. The guiding pillars of our behavior in NO MA’AM are given to us by Al himself and given to him by Ironhead Haynes. This incident actually inspired the song Ballad of Ira Hayes by the legendary Johnny Cash. The commandments may not cover every situation in life but that’s okay…. we’re a organization of meat heads, not a religion. More importantly, living by the NO MA’AM commandments is a commitment to living a life free of being politically correct. It is about freedom to be yourself and NO MA’AM is a place where we encourage that. Those all important commandments are:
1. It’s okay to call hooters “knockers,” “juggs” and sometimes “snack trays.”
2. It is wrong to be French.*
3. It’s okay to put all bad people in a giant meat grinder.
4. Lawyers: see rule three.
5. It is okay to drive a gas guzzler if it helps you get babes.
6. Everyone should car pool but me.
7. Bring back the word “stewardesses”
8. Synchronized Swimming is not a sport.
9. Mud wrestling is a sport.
*French maids, the hot ones in little outfits are the only exception.