Lake Mary Road

Dragoon and Fred Feldon loop

Boynton and Long Canyons elevated route

Verde Valley School and Double Ranger Station

Out to Cottonwood Children’s Park and back

While attending ElliptiGO Rally Weekend, I overheard the following conversation between two surfers (Kai and Keanu) near Solana Beach just as one of the rally attendees cruised by on their GO (or maybe I just imagined the whole thing):

Keanu: Whoa, dude, did you see that? What a rad bike!

Kai: It’s an ElliptiGO.

Keanu: A what?!

Kai: An ElliptiGO. It’s like an elliptical machine turned into a bike. And the company that makes them is based right here in Solana Beach.

Keanu: Dude, how do you know so much about these ElliptiGOs?

Kai: I ran into this chatty dude with a picture of an ElliptiGO on the side of his van.

Keanu: Whoa, does he, like, own the company?

Kai: Nah.

Keanu: Is he a dealer?

Kai: Nah, just a…what did he say…a “loud customer.”

Keanu: Dude, that’s pretty intense!

Kai: Talk about intense! The dude calls riding up a long, steep hill a bunch of times “GOod fun.” I think he likes root canals, too! He told me all about the history of the company, this group called “GERC” on Facebook, and an Internet thing called Strava where lots of folks who ride ElliptiGOs post their rides.

Keanu: History? How long have these bikes been around?

Kai: Dude, almost 20 years!

Keanu: Whoa!

Kai: These dudes named Brent and Bryan invented it and started the company.

Keanu: They must be, like, real nerds.

Kai: I don’t think so. To prove these things worked, they rode up and down mountains in a Death Race for, like, 100 miles.

Keanu: Dude.

Kai: I know. And they’re not alone. I went down a serious rabbit hole doing a deep dive on these folks.

Keanu: Dude?

Kai: All sorts of people are out there doing some pretty freaky things on their ElliptiGOs.

Keanu: Like what, dude?

Kai: Dude, like there’s this orthodontist up near Sacramento who rides a shi…big load of miles, like 60, every day.

Keanu: Whoa, dude!

Kai: He, like, says “dang” almost as much as you say “dude,” dude.

Keanu: No way, dude!

Kai: Way! And I think he’s working undercover for the US Department of Agriculture.

Keanu: Why, dude?

Kai: He, like, does surveillance and takes pictures of corn fields. 

Keanu: How do you know he’s undercover? Don’t people notice him on his ElliptiGO?

Kai: Maybe, dude, but he’s got, like, 50 library cards. Maybe each one has a different pseudonym!

Keanu: Pseudo what?

Kai: Pseudonym. Fake name. But that’s not all. There’s this professor dude who lives up the coast…

Keanu: You mean like the dude on “Gilligan’s Island”?

Kai: Yes, but this dude’s even smarter, more chill, and WAY more athletic. He picked up his ElliptiGO at the company, took it out of the box, assembled it, and just one month later, beat almost everyone in a race up Palomar Mountain.  And then he did even better the following year, all of this after he retired from teaching at college!

Keanu: Whoa!

Kai: And there’s this guy in Tucson who is half-human, half-goat. He rides in the mountains starting before dawn and takes pictures of cacti and snakes.

Keanu: Dude, you’re right. That is some freaky stuff. I’ll bet this goat dude is one of a kind!

Kai: And you’d be wrong about that, dude.  There’s these other dudes from around here who do  the same sort of thing. They’ve both climbed 3 million feet on their ElliptiGOs! And there are at least two women up in San Clemente who also get their kicks riding their ElliptiGOs up mountains.

Keanu: Gnarly!

Kai: Wait ‘til you hear about this dude over in Temecula…

Keanu: Hit me, bra!

Kai: Well, the dude rode his ElliptiGO to 10 different Del Tacos.  He must have really had the munchies!

Keanu: I can relate.  I get the munchies sometimes, too.

Kai: Bra, but not from riding your ElliptiGO. This dude also did a challenge where he rode 20 miles with 1500 feet of climbing…

Keanu: Dude, lots of people can do that!

Kai: …every four hours for two days straight!

Keanu: Whoa! That’s insane!

Kai: I hear you, dude! And there’s this lady in the desert who rides super fast, super far, and super high in the mountains. She’s known as the Notorious TFB.

Keanu: That sounds like a rapper name.

Kai: More like “wrapper name,” as in “wrapping up world records and world championships.”

Keanu: Dude, is ElliptiGO just a West Coast thing?

Kai: No way, bra! People ride ElliptiGOs across the country. Check this out, in Florida, there’s this dude who rides wicked far every day, just like that orthodontist dude. I think he’s a political prisoner for riding too much, because he sent out messages on Facebook asking GERC to free him, like he was in jail or something.

Keanu: Seriously?

Kai: Seriously! And there’s this other dude in Florida who rides his ElliptiGO at 4:00 in the morning to beat the heat.  He takes the coolest pictures of the sun rising over the ocean.

Keanu: Dude, I’ve never seen the sun rise over this ocean!

Kai: And you won’t, dude. I’ll explain it to you later. But first let me tell you about this lady in Florida who rides her ElliptiGO during the hottest part of the day, when it “feels like” 118 degrees. She takes the most awesome pictures of trees and flowers and animals in their natural habitat. It’s like they know she’s coming when it gets hot and pose for her.”

Keanu: Dude, that’s amazing! What about riders in other states?

Kai: Well, dude, there’s this dude in Virginia who I think was a member of ZZ Top…

Keanu: ZZ what?

Kai: ZZ Top, a rock band. My grandpa has some of their albums…

Keanu: Dude, what are albums?

Kai: Another thing I’ll explain to you later. So this ZZ Top dude really likes doughnuts and has a shed with, like, a whole bunch of ElliptiGOs in it. He rides, like, everywhere and sometimes pulls a trailer with him to camp along the way.

Keanu: Epic!

Kai: Epic is right! And there’s this lady in Maryland who had ridden at least 100 miles in a single ride more than 45 times who’s, like, the boss of ElliptiGO on Facebook.

Keanu: Facebook? I’ll bet these ElliptiGO riders are a squirrelly bunch online.

Kai: Actually, they’re not. It’s, like, the friendliest place on the whole Internet. People are so supportive, especially of newbies.  They give each other tips on how to ride and fix their ElliptiGOs and have these inside jokes like “If it’s not on Strava, it didn’t happen” and “You need n + 1 ElliptiGOs, where n is the number of ElliptiGOs you currently have.”

Keanu: Sounds pretty cool.

Kai: Dude, it really is.

Keanu: Do people ride ElliptiGOs in the Midwest?

Kai: For sure, dude!  All over the Midwest, in places like Goddard, KS, Hills, IA, Sidney, OH, Remer, MN, Springfield, MA…

Keanu: Dude, I know geology well enough to know that Springfield, MA is not in the Midwest!

Kai: To the people of Boston, it is. And, besides, it’s geography.

Keanu: Sorry, dude, I always get those two mixed up.  Speaking of geography, do folks in other countries ride ElliptiGOs or is it just an American thing?

Kai: No way, dude! There’s this woman in Australia who has ridden more miles on an ElliptiGO than anyone else, nearly three times the distance around the world. And there’s this dude in England who has ridden up and down the country through the day and through the night for hundreds of miles all while shooting videos for YouTube. Plus, he’s totally jacked and can do, like, a billion chin-ups! One of his friends can ride, like, 100 miles in just 5 hours on an ElliptiGO.  He’s got the name of one of those James Bond villains…

Keanu: Drax?

Kai: No.

Keanu: Goldfinger?

Kai: No, again!

Keanu: Blofeld?

Kai: Yeah, that’s the one! The dude with the cat. And speaking of cats, they have this friend, Kitty, from the Netherlands who also rides megamiles on an ElliptiGO.

Keanu: Awesome!

Kai: And there’s this dude in Belgium who, like, climbed Mt. Everest on his ElliptiGO.

Keanu: Mt. Everest is in Belgium?

Kai: Not exactly, dude, but he climbed a smaller hill more than 100 times until it was the same amount of elevation as Mt. Everest.

Keanu: Whoa, dude, I’ll bet he’s got monster quads!

Kai: No doubt! 

Keanu: Riding an ElliptiGO sounds like a great workout, just like surfing, but doesn’t involve as much creativity.

Kai: I’m not so sure about that, dude.

Keanu: What do you mean, dude?

Kai: Well, some people ride their ElliptiGOs so their route image on Strava makes a particular shape, like the dude in Sacramento who makes a tyrannosaurus rex, the dude in Virginia who makes an elephant, and the lady in Ohio who spells out “OHIO ST.”

Keanu: Seriously?

Kai: Seriously! And there’s this couple who drive around the country in a van, riding 100 milers on their ElliptiGOs in every state and this truck driver dude who brings his ElliptiGO with him and goes for a ride wherever he is when he’s done driving for the day. And there are these dudes in New York, Pennsylvania, and Colorado who shoot awesome videos of their ElliptiGO rides. That’s pretty creative, right?

Keanu: Right on, dude!

Kai: And how about this genius professor dude who gamified ElliptiGO riding and is rumored to be working with Nintendo on a new version called GOGO GO in which riders can capture Pokémon when they ride in certain areas.

Keanu: Another professor? That’s gnarly, dude! I may have to get an ElliptiGO for that reason alone!

Kai: Be careful if you do, dude, because I think these ElliptiGO people might be part of a religious cult.

Keanu: What do you mean, dude?

Kai: Well, whenever people say that they are thinking about fixing or modifying their ElliptiGO in some way, other riders chime in with “Ask Keri!” or they say “Praise Keri! She’s the best!” And everyone agrees.

Keanu: Who’s Keri?

Kai: I don’t know, dude, but from the way she’s referred to, it sounds like she’s some kind of higher power of ElliptiGO.

Keanu: Thanks for the lesson, dude. Where did you say their headquarters was?

Kai: It’s not too far from here, but you can always catch them at  24/7.

Keanu: Gotcha, dude! Later, bra.

Kai: Later.


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Britt Brewer

A windy return to GOing among the red rocks PLUS a transcript of a conversation I might have overheard at Rally Weekend (or not) 😉

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Lake Mary Road

Dragoon and Fred Feldon loop

Boynton and Long Canyons elevated route

Verde Valley School and Double Ranger Station

Out to Cottonwood Children’s Park and back

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