“Cherish the good moments…”

“It’s not early if you’ve been awake since 05:30…” Ꮢ❤️

“Always comes down to money in the end…”

“Never use the words bright eyed  feisty old ladies in my presence again…”

“It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission…”

ᗪᕮᗩᏒ ᗪ¡ᗩᏒY: The palm Trees 🌴🌴 are a lot calmer this morning. The ᗯᕮᗩTᕼᕮᏒ ᏒᕮᕈOᏒT App I’ve been using for years has been giving me an overall guesstimate of the whole island 🏝️ [like that only bigger] Gran Canaries is close to the equator on the same line as the Sahara Desert 🌵 but the volcano 🌋 is inactive [👺 last eruption 2000 years ago] breaks the clouds 🌧️ so it rains on the other side of the island 🏝️ more than here [👺he still doesn’t know what town this is]…🤷🏾‍♂️ Anyway the temperature should be low 20’s °c [🇺🇸68°f]. 

I navigate ᗷᏒᕮᗩᏦFᗩᏚT...🥓🍳☕️  which is Full English, such a relief, but the self-serve baked beans 🫘 are a little 🤏🏾 too close to the eggs 🍳 for me. I’m almost triggered but I’ll be on alert for TOᗰOᏒᏒOᗯ. I’m an ᗩᑎ᙭¡OᑌᏚ traveler who rants a lot [👺we never noticed]. If my desire to see shit 💩 fades, I will never leave my home ᗩᏀᗩ¡ᑎ‼️But for now my decision is whether to see the Dunes or go to the airport to try to see the FA/18’s…🤷🏾‍♂️ I observed both while on approach to the island yesterday but I’m sure I can do better…

Nooooo‼️ I lost my KOᗰ👑 earlier this month. Someone was crazy 🤪 enough to speed down that broken ᏒOᗩᗪ at 34 mph…😱 Bravo 👏🏾 

I choose The Dunes [👺mistake‼️] I am pleasantly surprised once I noticed a ‘windmill’ [👺the place is littered with them] The wind 💨 what little there is, is a headwind 💨 This bodes well for the return journey. Two years ago it was a constant tailwind to Maspalomas.

There are many professional l👀king groupetters. Under 30, their weight only just exceeding double their age in kilos. I’m not bitter, …much. They wave 👋🏾 going uphill with the wind 💨 at their backs and their whole lives in front of them. [👺Youth is wasted on the young…😱]

When I reach the Gary J-T instigated Dunes [👺yes, he is still the Puppet Master] The path is impassable on a ᗷ¡Ꮶᕮ. The beach is heavily populated. Plan B is to ride to Morgan and back but I’m leaking 💦 like a buckshot watering can…🪣 [That’s close enough]

While cooling down in the guise of taking pictures a Pinarello Dogma X roles up with a Trek SL63…😂 Thankfully they are 20+ meters away so they can’t see ᗪᗩKOTᗩ ᖴC’s war wounds. Said owner / rentee has opted for the Black/Red/Gold-Yellow gloss fade finish…nope! It’s not my colour - choose one…☝🏾 

Then to my dismay one of the ᏚTᏒᕮᕮTᏚ trader’s asks if I want to buy a pair of sunglasses 😎 WTAF‼️…😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣…😂🤣 my stomach is still hurting….

I leave Maspalomas heading back to the GC-500 inadvertently passing a hand-cycle on the way uphill. Now I have to pour it on, not cause I don’t want to get passed by a disabled person, but by rule of thumb, if you pass someone you need to keep up the performance although that rule can be waved [👺 no pun intended] on a climb because we all climb at different speeds. I seem to pass a lot of Ꮢ¡ᗪᕮᏒᏚ and start to feel a little conscious “I’m not going faster, everybody else is going slower...” [👺 only YOU like that film] There are not many ᏒOᗩᗪᏚ on the island 🏝️ you’re either in the mountains 🏔️ / volcano’s 🌋or on this ᏒOᗩᗪ. I am passed by two under 60kg Ꮢ¡ᗪᕮᏒᏚ who stay equi distance away meaning they were going the same speed and only sped up to pass, hence my earlier dilemma with the hand-cycle. They dusted me on the next climb. I only passed them cause “courier mode” doesn’t exist here. Under passing cars 🚗 [red or otherwise] is frowned upon. More investigation is necessary [👺hence the issue yesterday] …My Bad🤷🏾‍♂️

So now I’m in traffic and it’s boring. I pull off and sweep downhill into a cove. There are hotels 🏨, apartments the sea 🌊, and a court yard with scantily clad people. I consume an apple 🍏 contraband. Thanks GaƦṱĦ Ḫ USMES  I think these will outlast “Is that Donald Trump?...” [👺love that movie] You would‼️ Great forward thinking 💭 I take a sharp incline up 🆙 and prepare to “Do everything you did in reverse…” [👺No man is getting that quote…🤣]

I don’t know how many climbs there are back to thingymebob [🇺🇸 it, or an object, or that aka “thingymejig”] but on the first ouchy climb a 50kg wet 💦 Ꮢ¡ᗪᕮᏒ passed me like I was going backwards. I would’ve let it go [👺whether you know it or not you’re always racing “3… 2.. 1. Go GO GO‼️”] It wasn’t his fault. Two people recorded him going over the top and around the corner. I enquired if they wanted to film me? I didn’t take their laughter 🤣personally [👺but we did‼️] here comes the rub lightweight. “What goes up, slowly. Has the weight and the power 💪🏾 to come down, fast and carry that momentum to go back up quickly” Especially if you’ve dismissed his fat arse.] I carried my speed through the corner [ note to self: Tᕼᕮ ᗰᗩTᏒ¡᙭ has made you soft at high-speed cornering ᗩᑎᗪ those RX4+’s are sharp as my Ninja 🥷 Knives 🔪 that cut using their own weight & gravity‼️ I digress. ᗩᏀᗩ¡ᑎ…🫣 I coasted behind 50kg boy just so he could hear 👂🏾 the open bearings of the DT Swiss’s. He Ꮮ¡TᕮᏒᗩᏞᏞY double took behind himself as I swept past doing 28 mph up-hill… Yeah he smoked 🚬 me back to Maspalomas ᕼOᗯᕮᐯᕮᏒ, it was a valuable lesson learnt I hope. Oh to be as talented and light and young as him. Although my beer …🍺 will taste sweeter later… no alcohol for you child.

Over the far side of the underpass at Maspalomas two electric ⚡️ ᗷ¡ᏦᕮᏚ exited as I passed [👺 brave] ᗩᑎᗪ possibly miss lead I didn’t think ᗷ¡ᏦᕮᏚ were allowed under there…🚳 As I coast downhill a tall ᗷ¡Ꮶᕮ with a taller rider passes me all over the place. I get ᗩᑎ᙭¡ᕮTY just watching. When I pass later I say “Ola” 👋🏾 I am borked at a roundabout and they get away. On the last significant climb Tᕼᕮ 2 electric ⚡️ ᗷ¡ᏦᕮᏚ pass me at full-gas ⛽️ [👺15 mph] They l👀k impressive until 3 miles later. Even with the motor, full-gas ⛽️ will take its toll 🕯️. Either one of them was out of juice 🪫or juice😫. They were crawling along “Ola” 👋🏾

Then just before El Viento a driver 🚗 [WHITE] didn’t anticipate that ᗷ¡ᏦᕮᏚ are not allowed 🚫 on motorways 🛣️ so of course I’m going straight at the entrance to the motorway 🛣️ there’s always one, there’s a heavy application of brakes, words are exchanged...🤬 And I was going to comment how patient everyone was…🤷🏾‍♂️ Please 🙏🏾 explain this to your friends family anyone with driving experience so they can point out your error…🤯 Logical thinking‼️

El Viento was an oasis, but the burger was too heavy and the beer 🍺 was too nice… I swallowed both then head back to the Hotel 🏨 That’s how you turn a flat 30 mile ride into something strange…🤡

Days of Thunder…
American Psycho…
Barbie…
Sir Issac Newton / ᕈᏒOᑎOᑌᑎ👺…

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CL¡Vᕮ ᗩLᕮXᗩᑎᗪᕮR–ᑕLᗩRKᕮ

“Cherish the good moments…”

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“Cherish the good moments…”

“It’s not early if you’ve been awake since 05:30…” Ꮢ❤️

“Always comes down to money in the end…”

“Never use the words bright eyed feisty old ladies in my presence again…”

“It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission…”

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