“Two years seven months three days and I suppose an hour and thirty minutes…”

“There was more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus?…”

“You can’t salute the Sun twice in one day…”

“That took less than 20 minutes WTF?!…”

“Nothing to see here…”

ᗪᕮᗩᏒ ᗪ¡ᗩᏒY: “I’m avoiding crashing 💥 into your CAR 🚗 [Not red] as I have a front ᕈᑌᑎᑕTᑌᏒᕮ ᗩᑎᗪ I’m stopping 🛑 safely I’m not playing chicken 🐓 with you I Promise…”[👺 at your current weight, you could do some damage to a vehicle] 

As I know this route like the back of my hand and as there is a church nearby I walk to the obligatory memorial bench. Good thing about my Z¡ᕈᕈ© is that my patented French 🇫🇷 Flipper Trick always works. I assume that there is something in the tyre from the ᕈᑌᑎᑕTᑌᏒᕮ earlier in the week 🤔 There is 🫣 ᕼOᗯᕮᐯᕮᏒ, today’s hole is at 3 o’clock 🕒 the last was at 12 o’clock 🕛 so new day new new ᕈᑌᑎᑕTᑌᏒᕮ ᗩᑎᗪ a new tiny sharp thingy. I lay out the contents of my tool bottle, choosing the TPU, only to find out it has a short valve! 🫣 But there is just enough to get the condom on, in so many words [👺🫣] I whip out the New Trek Electric ⚡️ Pump ᗩᑎᗪ wake the whole cemetery. IT’s LOUD‼️

Now I’m riding again and cars are building around me, but my gears ⚙️ are skipping. The last time this happened the pedal arm fell off. [👺the good old days] I’m not taking any chances and stop 🛑 to investigate [👺The universe appears to be conspiring against you] a mile later I find the culprit. The chain ⛓️‍💥 is bone 🦴 dry. Whatever lubricants Ribble have used has the consistency of washing up liquid and has completely washed away some time ago. One of the links has seized. 

I’m torn between chining the ride off and straight lining to the Fire Station for Christmas 🎅🏾 dinner or finding some oil. [👺 always going to be the hard way] I head towards a hardware store but along the way I spy two Open Reach Engineers. They were nice enough to furnish me with what could have been used on spitfires in WWII…🛢️ It did the job and I beat the level crossing but unfortunately the second level crossing had a sleep 💤 walking pedestrian to avoid only to be close passed by a yellow Mercedes whose driver was texting 💬 At least my skills at accident avoidance have improved. 

It was all worth it for the Christmas 🎄 dinner from heaven…nom nom nom 😋

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CL¡Vᕮ ᗩLᕮXᗩᑎᗪᕮR–ᑕLᗩRKᕮ

“Never use the words bright eyed feisty old ladies in my presence again…”

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“Two years seven months three days and I suppose an hour and thirty minutes…”

“There was more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus?…”

“You can’t salute the Sun twice in one day…”

“That took less than 20 minutes WTF?!…”

“Nothing to see here…”

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